Wow. I know. It's been a really long time. I seriously think about posting almost every night. And then I don't, for many reasons. First - I feel like there is SOOO much to catch up on and I don't even know how to do that. Second - I haven't uploaded pictures to the computer since Dec. 14th. Still trying to convince myself to delete some from the computer. Third - I am just plain tired. Every night, I think: Should I blog or should I scrapbook? Most nights, I don't do either because both options seem to require way too much mental energy. And last - as you all know, a terrible tragedy happened here in Tucson on January 8. I have felt the need to write about that but at the same time have avoided it.

These days, it seems we hear about these mass shooting all too often. I hate to admit that I expected something would happen in Tucson, eventually. So much so, that I often find myself really nervous in large crowds. I constantly wonder if someone will pull out a gun and just start shooting. I was completely in shock when it actually did happen. I don't typically have the TV on during the day because I don't want Ryder watching it. There are shows I will occasionally turn on, but not on the weekends. Around noon, I logged on to facebook and saw that someone's (an old dance student of mine) status said: "Gabrielle Giffords is dead." I didn't believe it, but thought what a weird thing for a hacker to do. As I scrolled down the page, there were numerous posts about our congresswoman being shot, so I immediately turned on the TV and that's when I learned about the events that were unfolding in my town.

It's really surreal when something like this happens in the place you call home. I literally spent the first week glued to the TV, trying to learn all the facts and actually grasp what had happened. I felt so helpless. I am so sad for all the people that lost their lives and for their families. Especially the beautiful little girl, Christina Green. What an awful, awful thing. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child, but for it to happen in such a tragic, violent way is just unthinkable.

There is just so much I want to say about all this, but can't find the right words. I have been deeply touched by this tragedy, as most people here have. I will say that the outpouring of love and support that has been shown here is amazing. I guess there are many people feeling just as helpless as me. 4 days after the shootings, we went up to the Safeway. It was still a crime scene so everything was taped off. We talked to a woman who had been working at the Walgreens next door when it happened. That same day, we also visited University Medical Center, where the majority of the victims were taken, including Gabrielle Giffords. The memorial that people had created out front was unbelievable. It was just mesmerizing. It's been said that "Tucson is the biggest small town you will ever find." This is so true. 2 days after the Safeway re-opened, I went up again to place some flowers in the memorial that had started forming up there. I also stopped by Gabrielle Giffords office that day, and the memorial there was amazing too! When we heard that Gabby would be leaving the hospital this past week, I wanted to visit UMC one more time because I wasn't sure how long the memorial would stay there once she was gone. It was 8 days after our first visit and I think it QUADRUPLED in size. You just can't grasp it when they show it on the news, or in pictures. It is simply breathtaking. I did, however, take lots of pictures and will be sure to post them .... someday.

Ryder is doing fantastic, he is such a smart little boy! I am constantly amazed by what he knows. I'll ask him where something is (a specific toy, etc) and he will look around until he finds it and then will bring it to me. I notice him mimicking little things I do too. He is saying lots of new words. I think my favorite is still turtle. :) His favorite seems to be byeee and bye-bye. He LOVES to talk on the phone (I wonder where he gets that from?) and will take his toy phone or my cell phone, hold it up to his ear and walk around babbling into it. Or he'll take it and sit in the corner, just chatting away. SO CUTE! He STILL only has 2 teeth (at 14.5 months!), but I can finally see a tiny corner of one on the top starting to poke through. He is just a very curious, busy boy and is so much fun. The baby days are slipping away and he is quickly transforming into a little boy.