So today was my first day back to work, and I have been super stressed about it! I did not feel ready to go back and leave my little Ryder. After much thinking and debating, Rudy and I decided that it is best if I do not work right now and just focus on caring for our little boy. I went in this morning for my shift, leaving Ryder with Rudy until he had to leave for work and then my sister came and stayed with him. I was really nervous because he has not been wanting to take a bottle and the thought of him being hungry and crying while I was gone was quite upsetting to me.
I talked to my boss - who is also a long time friend, a dance teacher to me for many years and someone I have always looked up to. She was so awesome and supportive of my decision to resign from my position at Canyon Ranch. She agreed that family should be my first priority and said that if she could have stayed home with her son, she would have. She also assured me that if and when I am ready to return, that my job would be waiting for me. That was very nice to hear, because part of the reason I didn't want to leave was that I worried I wouldn't be able to go back if I ever wanted to. I know it is a definite possibility that I will want/need to, so knowing I have that option is very reassuring. Hopefully we won't find ourselves in over our heads or unable to make things work, but Rudy and I have both agreed that we will do whatever it takes to support our little boy and provide him what he needs. Starting with "simplifying" our life .... meaning cancelling that cable and being even more budget-conscious. I left her office feeling so much relief! I had laid awake all night thinking about it and went to work with a headache. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and my headache instantly went away. And of course I rushed home to be with my little man! I truly am going to miss all of my co-workers and many of the homeowners and "regulars" that I have worked with for the past 4 and a half years, but I am hoping to keep in touch with many of them.
So far I think 2010 is off to a good start! I hope everyone had a nice New Year's Eve. We went to a small party with some friends. There were 3 other couples there with young babies, so that was nice. There was another baby named Ryder! How odd! He was only 4 weeks old. It's funny that we actually went out this year because the past 2 years we have stayed home and gone to bed before midnight, but I have always had to work New Year's Day. It was nice to get out of the house and be in a non-stressful environment with other babies & nursing moms. :) Ryder looked adorable! I will try to get my pictures uploaded tomorrow so I can post them. I hope you all have a great first week of the year!
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